I'm kind of sad today. I found out my friend's, Tanya, brother died recently and it's come as quite a blow. So fast so sudden so tragic.

One of the things that really pisses me off about Russia is the blatant racism. I find myself feeling a sense of pride for being white over there though. A feeling that I am not allowed to feel here because white pride is associated with racism. And why shouldn't I be proud of who I am? Even though my family owned slaves at one time they realized it was wrong and were staunch abolitionists.

But I mean who really gives a fuck? I guess people do but I don't... not in my heart and who I am as a person because I realize underneath we are all still very human. We all breathe the same air and we all die some more tragically than others.

I guess when you take everything away from a nation and all they have left is their national pride in who they are then the tend to be a bit overbearing and very racist. In order to build yourself back up you have to stand on which people are perceived to be the weaker ones in the link. This is just human nature because we all do it in some form or another. If not racism then sexism. There is that root in everyone. To go against that is to go against human nature.

Fuck Chechenya. Those bastards have been fighting since Turgnev wrote Father and Sons over a century ago. I think once you have a taste for that... that feeling that can't be described... once you have a taste of what it's like to be down trodden and fucked over so many times that you want to take another hit just so you can start to laugh in adversity's face and scream out FUCK YOU I AM STILL ALIVE. I mean the fighting will continue... it's deep in their blood. That's who they are as a nation and even if they got their way they wouldn't know what to do with their freedom. Just like the Russians that were serfs to the Czarist regime and then communism. They traded off for one feudal lord for another.

And they call American's children. I have noticed a lately a lot of children parenting their parents... I also don't see this trend changing.